Apples of Gold in Settings of Silver
A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of sliver.
Proverbs 25:11
When someone says, “O she said a four letter word!” you know what they mean. They are not talking about food, hair, a book, or cola. You know they are talking about a bad word, a dirty word. Well this chapter is not about the sinfulness of cussing or using abusive language, here we are going to address a much more common problem with our words, a problem that is way to often over looked- The problem of gossip and impure words.
Words have very powerful meanings. God used words to create the world and raise people from the dead. He also used words to condemn people who were in opposition to Him.
In the book, Relationships- A Mess Worth Making, authors Tim Lane and Paul Tripp describe why watching what we say is so very important. They say,
“Because our words have power and direction, they always produce some kind of harvest. It will be a life harvest of comfort, encouragement, hope, insight, unity, and joy, or a death harvest of fear, discouragement, falsehood, division, and sadness. Words can open up the mysteries of the universe for someone. Words can crush a person’s spirit, excite, anger, or stimulate love. Words have power.”[1]
Words can ruin some ones reputation or build someone up and the Bible says that we are accountable for every word that comes out of our mouths, so we have to be very careful. In the book of James, James uses some very descriptive language to describe the magnitude and power the tongue can have. Let’s take a look:
“When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body… With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in His likeness.” James 3: 3-12.
Amy Carmichael, a missionary role model of mine in India, had several phrases that were conversation guidelines in the orphanage, Dohnavur that she started in 1901 for girls that were being sold to temples as cult prostitutes or babies that were going to be killed because of the poverty rate in India at the time.[2] One of the phrases she had was, “The absent are safe with us,” meaning that they wouldn’t gossip about others when they are gone, and the second one was … “Is it true, is it kind, and is it necessary?”
The phrase “the absent are safe with us” and “is it true” can be very similar in meaning. What they are both saying is that we won’t talk about other people in a negative way or talking about them when they can’t defend themselves. It also means that when other people gossip or talk about other people when they are not around that you will defend that person. I really do believe in the phrase “Innocent until proven guilty”, it means that we should always think the best about people until anything that they may have said or done is proven to be true.
Gossip can spread like a wildfire and effect many people and ruin people’s lives. In Proverbs 16: 28 it says, “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends. I have seen on a first hand basis the effects that gossip can have on close friends, family members, and even an entire school! It is devastating what one wrong or misquoted word can do to some ones entire reputation. Gossip can have such a strong effect that it can cause people to question why they are alive and what purpose their life serves, which in turn can lead to suicide. God forbid that any of you ever be that person, who at the expense of others shares false or unproven facts about them.
Gossip is an out-of-control wildfire of ignorance and immaturity. One way that you can combat the sin of gossip is to keep your thoughts pure. Why is it so important that you keep your thoughts pure? Because “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.”[3] What you say is a reflection of what you think, and what you think is a reflection of the condition of your heart. If your heart is immersed in the Word of God and you are spending daily time with Him in prayer asking Him to guide your thoughts and your words, then your fight against unwholesome and sinful words will not be such a struggle. God will address all your needs if you will ask him.
Impure words, or talking about things that are inappropriate is also totally unbiblical. Think about this verse, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”[4] I don’t have any idea what you girls talk about when you think your parents aren’t listening or when you are surrounded by people who pressure you to talk and think about bad things, but does what you say benefit the people that are listening to you? Does talking about boys and sex encourage your friends towards godliness? Somehow, even though I don’t know you I have a very strong feeling it doesn’t. I understand that it is easy to get pulled in to a crude conversation so what are your alternatives? This is something that I really struggle with because I am on a secular college campus almost every day and sometimes it truly is impossible to get away from all the filthy talk that goes on. So let me give you some suggestions about what to do when you are with your friends or even a room full of strangers. First, try to change the topic of conversation by either saying, “You know, talking about this really makes me uncomfortable. Could we talk about something different?” Or even something a little more casual like, “Come on guys you know we shouldn’t be talking about this stuff.” However, if all else fails you always have the ability to leave the group, the room, or the situation. None of these things that I mentioned are easy. In fact most of what I suggested would by God’s standards be considered suffering for righteousness sake. Words and actions like these might even cause you to lose some friends but it is worth it. If your friends leave you because you stand up for what is right then that is a sure sign that they were not very good friends to start with. On top of all that, God promises to bless those who stand for righteousness! What more could you ask for? If God is on your side who can be against you?
So why is all these stuff important? Let’s read Colossians 3: 8-9… “You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now (Christian) you must rid yourself of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken your old self with it’s practices.” I believe that when Paul wrote this he was also thinking about what he wrote to the Corinthians in his second letter to them earlier on. In 2 Corinthians 5: 17, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” In other words we are to stop gossiping, stop talking about dirty things, and start speaking truth because God has pulled us out of the sinking sand of our past lives and put us on the Solid Rock of Jesus’ blood and sacrifice for us so that we could be pure and blameless before a pure and blameless God. That is an act that is beyond what we can comprehend. The infinitely pure, transcendently majestic God of this whole world chose you from the foundations of the earth to make you clean and holy and to spend eternity with him in Heaven!
Wow! How many more reasons do we need to speak in a wholesome manner? Girls I don’t know if you struggle with this sin in your life or not, but I hope that reading this will give you the courage you need to stand up for God and His word or to encourage someone who needs that courage.
James 1:26
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